For some time now, I hoped Tom (20) will have a girlfriend. I thought how wonderful it would be for him that in addition to being mom's cuddly baby and the most loving son in the whole wide world, there would be a girl to love him for being this honest, intelligent, loving, compassionate and humorous young man he is. I would ask him from time to time what's going on, knowing how shy he is. The answers were evasive, usually around 'there aren't any nice enough or smart enough girls where I hang around', until one day, while spending quality time together, he told me about O, his first girlfriend. He was afraid I'll ask many questions. I didn't. I was happy for him. But the change was so sudden that I didn't have a chance to get used to my new status as woman number 2 in his life. He spent more time with her than with us, which, coming to think of it, is actually quite logical, but neither my nor his logic were fully functioning at the time. I guess I made some inappropriate comments until his 'you are not in competition' made me realize my mistake.
Judging by the short time I saw her (a few minutes one morning and evening and once for lunch), O really seems a nice young woman. She must be if Tom likes her. I know there will probably be other girlfriends, so there's no point getting too involved. As always, I try to support him as much as I can (with phone calls, lots of home made cookies, stuffed eggs and errands), I drive him and change my schedule around his, whenever possible.
Tom got a 2-day vacation starting tonight. He is going to see O first, then come home tomorrow morning. I'm cool with it. I know this makes him happy. Isn't this what we really want for our kids?